Distress tolerance is one of the four core skills taught in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). DBT is a type of therapy that helps people learn to manage their emotions and behaviors in a healthy way. Distress tolerance skills are especially helpful for people who experience intense or frequent negative emotions.
One of the most well-known distress tolerance skills is ACCEPTS. ACCEPTS is an acronym for the following skills:
Activities: Engaging in activities that you enjoy and find distracting, such as going for a walk, listening to music, or spending time with loved ones.
Contributing: Doing something nice for someone else, such as volunteering, running an errand for a friend, or simply offering a listening ear.
Comparisons: Reminding yourself that everyone experiences difficult emotions and that your situation is not unique or hopeless.
Emotions: Allowing yourself to feel your emotions, even if they are unpleasant. Trying to suppress or avoid your emotions will only make them worse in the long run.
Pushing away: Putting the situation that is causing you distress on hold for a while, so that you can come back to it later with a clearer head.
Thoughts: Distinguishing between helpful and unhelpful thoughts. Challenging unhelpful thoughts can help you to reduce your distress.
Sensations: Focusing on your physical sensations, such as the feeling of the wind on your skin or the taste of food in your mouth. This can help to ground you in the present moment and take your mind off of your negative emotions.
How to use ACCEPTS DBT SKills
To use ACCEPTS, simply go through the acronym and choose the skills that are most likely to be helpful for you in that moment. For example, if you are feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, you might try the following:
Activities: Go for a walk, listen to calming music, or do some deep breathing exercises.
Contributing: Call a friend or family member and offer to listen to them talk about their day.
Comparisons: Remind yourself that everyone experiences anxiety from time to time and that your feelings are valid. You're doing better than many other people.
Emotions: Allow yourself to feel your anxiety, even if it is uncomfortable. Trying to suppress or avoid your anxiety will only make it worse in the long run.
Pushing away: If you are feeling particularly overwhelmed, you might try putting the situation that is causing you anxiety on hold for a while. You can come back to it later when you are feeling calmer.
Thoughts: Challenge any unhelpful thoughts that you are having about yourself or the situation. For example, if you are thinking "I'm a failure," you could challenge that thought by asking yourself if there is any evidence to support it.
Sensations: Focus on your physical sensations, such as the feeling of your feet on the ground or the sound of your breath. This can help to ground you in the present moment and take your mind off of your anxiety.
It is important to note that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to using ACCEPTS. What works for one person may not work for another. The best way to find out which skills are most helpful for you is to experiment and see what works best.
Tips for using ACCEPTS DBT Skills
Here are a few tips for using ACCEPTS effectively:
Be creative. There are many different ways to implement each of the ACCEPTS skills. For example, if you are not sure what activities to do to distract yourself, you can try making a list of things that you enjoy doing and then choosing something from the list.
Be patient. It takes time and practice to learn how to use ACCEPTS effectively. Don't get discouraged if you don't see results immediately.
Be kind to yourself. Everyone experiences difficult emotions from time to time. It's important to be patient and understanding with yourself when you are feeling distressed.
ACCEPTS is a powerful set of skills that can help you to manage distress in a healthy way. It is important to note that ACCEPTS is not a magic bullet. It will not eliminate all of your negative emotions. However, it can help you to cope with them in a more effective way. If you are struggling to manage your emotions, talk to a mental health professional about learning ACCEPTS and other distress tolerance skills.